4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We are all done wearing pants today
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
