Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
we're so committed to being not committed
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
