...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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