Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
God, I missed his penis.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
