Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
