I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
