you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
How's work?
Spinning.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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