Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
