I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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