I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I need moral support for this bender
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Drake has all the answers
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
