Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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