I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
my poor anus
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
