Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
