these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
