Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
