Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
