do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
