No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize