Tell her she can't have a vagina
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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