did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
