I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
