Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
