remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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