Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
