If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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