I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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