Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
sarcasm needs its own font
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Randomize
