I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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