you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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