I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
