So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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