Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i drank out of a bidet.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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