Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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