I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
