you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
