Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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