AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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