Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize