we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
