I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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