even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
