We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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