I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i think my cat just said my name.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
