After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
