Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
