the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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