Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
