u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
