Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize