So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
