Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I love you. Go after that dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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