i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
