Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize