the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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