I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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