Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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