WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
