Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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