Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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