no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
