just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
