bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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