I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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