Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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