I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
